February 15, 2008
I joined Toastmasters in January as a way to reach my goal of becoming a better public speaker. It is very easy since my company hosts a local club and the meetings are held in my office building.
Everyone gets a little nervous when speaking. I seem to have less problems with being nervous and more of an issue with saying the right things. This seems like an activity that I could potentially enjoy if I were good at it. The problem is: I think I am permanently broken. There is a connection between my brain and mouth that is either severed or not present. I can write all day long but when it comes time to speak, I spit out a few broken phrases as if I am channeling Tarzan.
"I Like. Proposal."
"Works good."
"Thanks, er. Yeah."
When I discover that I am speaking like a primitive creature, my anxiety balloons and creates even worse of a problem. My response is the opposite of typical nervous symptoms such as a red face, shaking hands, and stammering. Instead, my brain completely shuts down, and I become a dead statue.
Hypothetically, if I were to give a speech about oranges, it would go something like this:
"Oranges are... orange. Citrus fruit. Um, juicy. You can make juice from them. Have vitamin C in them. Okay. Thanks for listening. The end."
I would never be one of those people who goes on and on and puts the audience to sleep. Instead I would set a record for shortest speech ever.
But if given a sheet of paper and a pen (or a keyboard), I will wax eloquent on the many qualities and characteristics of an orange.
Who is this person I become when speaking in front of a group?
The great thing about Toastmasters is that it provides you with the chance to speak in front of people, over and over again. It is the ONLY way to get better at it. You can attend a little one-day class and hear an instructor talk about what to do and what not to do. Then you will return back to work and try to give a speech, and suck at it. Nobody ever learned to play a musical instrument by listening to someone else play one.
Yesterday I stood up in front of the group for the first time and gave a two-minute impromptu speech. I said "um" FIFTEEN times. What's funny is that I did not hear myself say "um" ONCE. The feedback is very eye-opening. I wonder if I am a hopeless cause. ;)
Posted by megabeth at February 15, 2008 08:36 AM
Public speaking is a skill. Born speakers are relatively rare, but they're visible enough to make things tough for the rest of us. I admire your style here in addressing a weakness directly. Before I do anything public I take three deep breaths, in through the nose and out the mouth. Air goes in cool and out warm. Yeah, it sounds kind of new age, but it works to calm me and give me focus. Keep at it. It's an art that you never master entirely, but you will get better.
Posted by: chris robinson at February 15, 2008 09:15 AM
Megabeth. Doubleplus hopelessly not. Belief is it mine. Practicely skills you are, better get you will. Confidence I have.
Have you tried writing out a script to correct the dreaded "um" transition and nearly memorizing it ahead of time? I hate the advice about picturing the audience without clothing since that can get pretty ugly. Try getting a trusted close person to listen to a speech on something and have them ask questions so it is more like a conversation. Work that out 3-4 times on the same subject, making the same points. This is supposed to provoke thoroughly integrating the subject to you, covering all the relevant points, and making it so you know and relate the subject more easily to others.
Posted by: Outlaw3 at February 17, 2008 02:15 PM
Those are great suggestions. I was on the other end of the spectrum. It was always easier for me to speak about subjects I am knowledgable about than to write or to converse. My essays used to sound a lot like your orange speech! What I thought was efficiently worded was graded as 'terse'. As I have gotten older it is easier to write and to converse. Practice is the only way to get better. Try channeling your keyboard when you are speaking. That is how I got better at writing... By pretending I was talking. Letting go of it having to be perfect and just letting the words come. I do now like the luxury of having time to compose thoughts when typing as opposed to being on the spot talking. Don't be afraid of a pause. Silence is better than um. I have better luck preparing an outline of what I want to say and then remembering that but being spontaneous with the words because my memory is so bad I can't remember a whole speech.
Posted by: A at February 20, 2008 11:37 AM
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