I'm going to admit my training secret which has helped me to become a stronger cyclist than about three other people. You can thank me later.

It's the ROM 4 minute cross trainer. I exercise just four minutes a day! In the comfort of my home! I rationalized the $10,000 cost of this machine because it is of utter importance to my ego that I am a faster cyclist than everyone else in town.

Seriously. When I saw the ad for this machine, it was so absurd that I had to go to the website to entertain myself with more absurdities. It looks like a very expensive piece of quackery, but if you are looking to get four minutes of exercise a day, then the product will deliver that claim truthfully.

This statement is my favorite:

If you feel that you belong to the potentially less reasonable variety of customer we would like to ask you to restrain your natural tendencies or not aspire to the purchase of a ROM machine.

In other words, if you are not easily swayed by someone's bullshit, then don't buy the product. Only the clueless need apply!