Since it appears that I have a crash-and-burn every six months, it would be close to the time when I am due for another one. However, I am learning from my mistakes, so this incident is much milder than the last one. I'd say the problem this time is simply that I am burned out on bike racing. And that isn't uncommon this time of year, especially when it's been 98-105 degrees every day for the past couple of weeks. I raced weekend before last, against my gut instinct, which was not a good decision, but I learned that racing in extreme heat is something I won't do again. (Who knew that I, the biggest hater of cold weather in the world, would be wishing for a wintry day?)

Due to the two months off the bike this spring, I was well rested when going into training again, and thus could really push things hard. I was riding six days a week; many of those rides were of high intensity. This was against the advice of Friel's training book, which said to plan for a few peaks a season and take LOTS of rest time (which in training translates to easy recovery rides and tempo mileage). In summary, I got too excited about being back on the bike again. I had been riding all winter and really wanted to race well this season, so when my racing season was abbreviated, I went a little gung-ho.

I peaked at the state championship road race weekend, which isn't a bad place to peak. Since then, I've lost my desire to put my body through the stresses of racing in the heat. So, I've been riding my trainer inside. Come winter, I will probably think that was stupid and wish desperately for riding outdoors again. But I have hopes that I can doctor my motivation if I mitigate some of the suffering.

My original plan for the weekend was to race an omnium in Chattanooga, but I've decided to scale that plan back a bit. I am sort of looking forward to a long, hilly race, because I like climbing, but the one thing I'm not looking forward to is the hour before the race, because I get so nervous and have to pee about 10 times and I have butterflies in my stomach, and I just want to hurry up and go, so that the suffering from racing will eventually make the nervousness go away. (*Note: Before the Meridian crit, my heart rate at the start line, before MOVING A MUSCLE, was 143.) I've talked to myself over and over again about this pre-race nervousness. It's normal to be nervous for a race, but COME ON. It's a just a leisure event. A hobby. It does not pay my bills, nor determine my worth to myself or others. It's something I choose to do because it is FUN. I mean, I like pain and suffering on a bike, so therefore a race should be enjoyable.

But I suppose not, if I'm burned out.

It's not that I don't want to ride at all. I keep thinking that what the kind of riding I want to do right now is social rides, centuries, and climbing an insane amount of hills/mountains.

Regardless of what kind of performance I have at the end of my racing season, I am pleased that I recognized the problem early enough before real damage was done, and will aspire to including an adequate amount of rest in my training schedule for next year's racing season.