January 30, 2007

My parents couldn't be more different from each other. They have both retired within the past year. I felt a heightened anticipation about what they would choose to get themselves into. Secretly I was hoping that my father would open up an Einstein Bagels or similar franchise so that I could try my hand in the restaurant business by helping him out. If that didn't come to fruition, I was hoping he follow through on his dream of buying a room full of professional woodworking tools so that I could quit my job and become a maker of one-of-a-kind furniture pieces. But this isn't about me.

My father has started to dabble. He has been quail hunting a few times, he has joined the Y and meets his friends at the gym for spin classes and swimming, he has asked me if he can borrow my Thermarest to go camping. He has taken a 20-hr/week contract job in which he is a project manager for a new resource learning center. My mother took a part-time position for about 20-hrs/week as well. Both of them have become much more aware of what is going on in Birmingham in terms of cultural and social events. They applied for their passports so they can do some traveling outside of the country. And, of course, as grandparents they like to babysit the little ones, take them to the playground, and have them stay overnight.

So my parents are different in that my father seems to be using his time for constructive purposes, and my mother's idle hands are becoming the work of the devil. When she has more energy she likes to pick on people but I have made it abundantly clear that if she picks on me, then I will pull a disappearing act for a month or two until she can behave. So she has found other targets. She has befriended all of the other women in her little locality and they get together and gossip about the other people they know who aren't present. And then she wants to tell me ALLLL about so-and-so, how they are getting married, divorced, havingababy ondrugs, arrested, newjob, boughtbighouseandcar, babyisretarded, goingtothischurch, datingsomeoneinAtlanta, gotveryfat. This reminded me never to tell her anything about myself ever again so that other people who should not care about me and probably do not care about me will not have anything about me to pass around to the other idle people who have nothing better to do and badly need to get a life.

In short, my mother, in her retirement, has developed diarrhea of the mouth.

Posted by megabeth at 02:51 PM | Comments (5)

January 29, 2007

One of my favorite things about this weekend was that it rained on Saturday night. That was good since I would not have wanted to ride in the rain during the day. But it was even better because the cabin had a tin roof, and it was the most comforting sound in the world to be cozy and warm inside, listening to the tapping sound of the raindrops falling on the roof.

Posted by megabeth at 09:41 AM | Comments (1)

January 28, 2007

I am floored about how amazing this weekend was. Nearly rendered speechless, because I don't know where to begin. When we (the girls) arrived on Friday night, a brand new cabin was awaiting us, with a fire already going in the fireplace and the bedding already made up. Then we headed over to the guys' cabin, and there was a delicious meal ready for us to eat. And then when we arose the next morning, breakfast was cooked and served. And THEN our ride was sagged by two vehicles, and they kept/took our extra clothing, gave us drink refills and energy bars and gels. This is like a real bike team. This IS a REAL bike team, with people who are friends and who support each other. I think that the boys want the girls to join them because they served us the entire weekend. I don't get this kind of royal treatment when I go on vacations at the beach. I asked if we could have a training camp every weekend from here on out. ;)

On Saturday I rode 4 hours/67 miles with 4500 estimated vertical feet of climbing. We started on top of the mountain at Mentone, descended, climbed it, descended, then climbed it again (at different location). We also rode quite a while at tempo on flat and rolling terrain. On Sunday we rode 3.5 hours/55 miles on the road that goes along the edge of Little River Canyon, which is mostly rollers, to Fort Payne, with a long climb back up the mountain at the end. The weather Saturday was nice, in the mid-50s, and rather chilly today in the mid-30s (I had toe and hand warmers as my little helpers). The pace was a bit frisky until the climbs; we utilized a double pace line to ride efficiently.

So there was the pleasure. Now for the pain:

New saddle, little padding = VERY SORE bottom. Ouch. Muscular fatigue for the latter portion of both rides; when the pace got fast I was at LT+7 and about to pop. Riding with boys is hard. But it is now time for me to ride with boys because I am done with building a base.

And the climbing. I love climbing and it is becoming evident that it is one of my strengths. First up on all big climbs for the girls; I gave some of the boys an ego check. The funny thing is, the more painful it gets, I start laughing out loud. It is hilarious and I can't figure out exactly why other than there have been many times in my life when I was in pain (mostly emotional), and climbing a hill on a bike is nothing in comparison. So I get into my little 'zone' where I settle into a pedaling rhythm, and I think about how I am using all of the muscles in my body to power up the hill and if there is anything I could be doing to make it more efficient, and sometimes I feel like I have more to give, so I change gears and speed up. And sometimes I think about how I am making other people hurt, and I enjoy that very much. I don't think I have tapped my full potential. I am going to keep developing this strength.

Wonderful, wonderful weekend. I love this sport.

Posted by megabeth at 05:31 PM | Comments (3)

January 26, 2007

I am running around like crazy today about to leave to go out of town for a much needed break: Training Camp!

My cycling team has some incredibly nice and generous people. We have been set up with lodging (even separate houses for boy and girls, since boys are stinky). We have a chef on the team who is preparing the meals. We have a sponsor and a mechanic who are providing ride support (they'll be driving behind us in a van and scooping up whoever needs a break or has a mechanical problem). It will be a fun weekend, doing what I enjoy doing, with people who share my obsession. When I get back and thaw out, I'll recap the weekend.

Posted by megabeth at 09:16 AM | Comments (1)

January 25, 2007

This blog post about feeling awkward in adolescence brought back the sights and smells of the school cafeteria. Yuck. STINKY.

Like Shadowhelm, I felt a bit awkward in school and in the lunchroom I sat by the bookworm girl who had eczema. And I was a bookworm, too. We were friends because we both avoided conversation by reading books. The strongest memory I have of junior high was one day when I sat down in my 7th grade English class and the guy sitting next to me started laughing at me for being a bookworm. "Bookie" became my nickname because he wouldn't shut up about it.

At my 10th year high school reunion I was looking forward to talking to that turd to see what path he had taken in his early adulthood, but he did not show up. Also, a Google search of his name turned up nothing. And people my age usually leave at least a small trail of themselves on the internet, since we are a wired generation. Therefore, we can logically conclude that the loser ended up in jail, and is still rotting there today.

In the land of nouveau riche, adolescents tend to value the wrong things, like appearances and how much money their parents 'appear' to have. For some of them, that's all they had, and their high school years were the prime moments of their lives. And some of those people became stuck forever in the Land of False Values.

At my tenth year reunion I felt good about the last ten years of my life and how much I had grown and bloomed. But I was a bit afraid that my twenties were the peak decade; that after thirty, life would become a series of piling on the burdening responsibilities and putting an end to all things that are fun.

In about a week I will be 32; marking a 20% completion of my thirties. I am glad I have another 80% left because DAMN, THIS DECADE IS GOOD. As I get older, my hope and anticipation of the future grows day by day. I make better decisions based on the wisdom I have gained from past experiences. I know more about what I want than I ever have before. The main developmental area for me in my thirties is to get a better picture of my long-term career plan. Maybe once I am happy with it, I will stop answering the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" with "Retired".

Posted by megabeth at 09:22 AM | Comments (2)

January 24, 2007

My guilt is starting to eat me alive regarding my Boston Terrier, Ruby. I am a bad mother. She has been cooped up indoors all winter since she doesn't have much fur and gets cold easily. Poor Ruby has a lot of energy that she isn't able to expend since she hasn't been running around the backyard every day. So Ruby now has a request for play dates posted on her Dogster page. I've never tried to set my dog up on a play date through the internet. Is dog internet dating something taboo, that Ruby should keep a secret? Haha. It would be nice to drop her off in someone's backyard and let her run wild with other doggies, or have a doggie come visit her in her backyard to play. They will be naked and unashamed, but the proper measures have been taken to prevent fornication.

Posted by megabeth at 01:57 PM | Comments (0)

I've been wanting to invest in another closed-end ETF since my first venture has been doing so well. I just received some information about a new IPO for a closed-end fund that looks pretty good. The goal is a 10.25% to 10.75% annual dividend payout rate, paid on a monthly basis and the second goal is capital appreciation. Gains from the first are taxed at 15% and gains from the second are taxed at one's income tax rate. To get in on the IPO I have to pay the 4.5% front end load, but after the recovery of initial cost, this investing option is much better than what I am getting in my savings account (gains are being taxed at my income tax rate). There's also the additional risk that one accepts by playing the market, but I feel a bit of confidence about this fund because dividend-paying companies are usually stable, and any particular failure will be diversified through the fund's many holdings.

At this point with the inverted yield curve (short term rates higher than long term), closed-end dividend-paying ETFs seem to be the best alternative for taxable accounts with a mid-term investment outlook of at least three years. Bonds, at least those with higher credit ratings, are not paying more than the standard risk-free rate one can get in a short-term CD.

Maybe I'm selling myself short, but if I could get an average 10% annual rate of return for the rest of my life, I'd be quite happy.

Posted by megabeth at 01:27 PM | Comments (0)

January 23, 2007

At a training class in Atlanta today: the facility that was rented did not have heat. I know what 62 degrees feels like in my house because that is where my thermostat rests when I get home from work. And this room was not anywhere near 62 degrees. Even the men were complaining.

So, for eight hours I lost the sensation in my hands, feet and nose. At lunch I headed back to my car and tried to warm up with the engine running, but by that point I had gone past the point of no return.

All fall and winter long I have been riding my bike outside in all sorts of weather conditions down to about 35 degrees and the sensation is compounded by the wind chill. But today is the coldest I have been in recent memory. The last time I recall being this cold is when I was caught in a spring rainstorm at JazzFest in New Orleans, and was waiting for a ride while soaking wet. The worst situations end up being the ones you aren't prepared for (and today I was wearing my thickest winter coat during the class). But how in all holy f'ing hell was I supposed to know that I should have brought a ski suit and worn seven layers of long underwear underneath it, for a corporate training class?

4:00 pm EST: Class is over. AT THAT VERY SECOND, I dashed back to my car and started it. The heat comes on faster when you give the car some gas, so at 4:01 I am headed towards I-285 already. BUT... lest we forget, this is Atlanta, land of the 20 minute long traffic lights and 200 car lines waiting to get on the interstate and then when you finally get on the on-ramp there is a freaking problem and you still can't give your car any gas because you can't go over 10 mph. At this point I thought I might commit suicide in a kamikaze manner, going down in a ball of flames BUT YET I would have DIED WARM!!

After FORTY FIVE MINUTES of maximum heat at maximum speed and my feet were finally, completely warm through and through.

I wouldn't accept pay of a billion dollars for another shitty day like this one.

Posted by megabeth at 06:18 PM | Comments (2)

January 22, 2007

There are no fables here; change really does happen. A year ago about this time I had an abscessed tooth, and to much relief, it was yanked out of my head. And that was the symbolic start to a process of breaking things down, then later rebuilding them better than they were before.

It irks me when someone says, "People don't change" or "People cannot change". To believe that means that you are shutting yourself in a box forever.

So there was this time, when a figurative civil war had passed through and burned everything down, like the torching of Atlanta by Sherman's army. That's the best way to let something go that was comforting yet destructive; when it's gone and one is forced to put something in its place. That's the time when I dug through the ashes of what had been deconstructed, and found that which should not be rebuilt so I that could replace those things with something better. Such as those ingrained habits from childhood, those false beliefs I held about myself, those obligations I carried, and most of all, the anger that burdened me.

Making sweeping changes requires diligence and dedication, but I'm inclined to carrying through with my goals, even if they aren't the right ones. Dogged persistence has both its advantages and disadvantages.

What's funny is that once you get rid of some habits you didn't like, the experience is one of being a new person in some regards. I am still learning how to react to certain situations, what I choose to say and how I act. I'm making some new mistakes; I have some new quirks. I am not done yet. I hope that I will never be done.

Posted by megabeth at 08:03 AM | Comments (3)

January 20, 2007

Today's ride was like what would happen if I decided to ride my bike on a hurricane evacuation route right before a hurricane. I don't know what was going on today that brought people out of their homes... the second coming of Jesus Christ? It was INSANE.

Today an older woman in a Lexus buzzed us right before stopping at a red light. So at the light I knocked on her window and at first she wouldn't roll it down (a sure sign of guilt). When she did, I asked her nicely if she could please give cyclists a little more space because getting that close to them is not safe. She acted as if she was not aware that she did anything dangerous, and perhaps she truly was ignorant.

I've had to cut back a little on the big gear hill climbing because my knee is tweaked. The saddle I have been trying out for a month obviously isn't good for me so we changed it out to a narrower men's saddle and make some adjustments to my cleats (one was crooked). My knee felt a little better and hopefully I can get back into making the quads burn. I have a training camp coming up soon and am really looking forward to spending even MORE time on a bike. Heheh. I am insane.

One tip about the knees: When it's cold outside it's really important to keep the knees warm. Now that one of my knees is pissed off, I am being more careful about that. Knee warmers under 70 F. When I wear tights on a cold day, I wear my knee warmers underneath the tights.

Posted by megabeth at 07:25 PM | Comments (0)

January 19, 2007

This morning when I woke up in the twilight I thought I couldn't see so I was looking for my glasses on the dresser for a minute before I realized that I do not wear glasses anymore. My eyes are feeling and seeing wonderfully, and yesterday I went to the Clinique counter at lunch and volunteered for the eye lady to do my eyes, since now people can actually see my eyes!

If I think about all of the many people who have vision problems, I wonder why the eyes are such a defective item. I mean, if Toyota took charge of the problem, then there would be a significant reduction in the incidence of myopia, and there would also be a factory warranty so you could get new eyeballs if yours weren't working right.

Posted by megabeth at 10:59 AM | Comments (3)

January 18, 2007

I'm wrapping up another website project this week and MAN OH MAN does it look good. I will post the URL when official launch day comes around.

The success of my recent web development projects have me thinking about why I did not pursue this type of work full time, but then I remember that when I tried to get hired into this type of job full-time, nobody wanted to hire me. If you take a range from 1 to 10, 1 being highly technical and 10 being highly creative, I fall smack-dab in the middle. There is no market for people who are stuck in the middle. Generalists be damned! Do NOT use both sides of your brain!

Posted by megabeth at 01:47 PM | Comments (0)

January 17, 2007

Something amazing happened over the past six months or so. This summer, my supervisor was promoted, and to take his place, a new supervisor was hired from another company.

She bribed us with candy. Tons and tons of candy of all types; she made sure that every preference and every taste bud was pleased. Plenty of hard, chewy, soft, chocolatety, tangy, sour, sweet, fruity, nougaty, neon-colored, sugar-coated goodness. My dentist would physically attack her if she found out what has been going on.

I love candy more than most anything in the world, but having an ample supply of candy around for most of my waking hours has cured me of the excitement I once felt when presented with an opportunity to eat candy. I still have a sweet tooth (always will) and I still eat candy every now and then. BUT NOW I WALK BY THE CANDY DISH AND KEEP GOING. It is an amazing feat that I never thought would be accomplished. If my candy-crazy self comes back again, I'm going to work in a candy store. Then I'll probably start hating it.

Posted by megabeth at 02:54 PM | Comments (3)

I just wrote one of those posts where I get inspired and think too much and then hopefully inspire you to think, but then I lost it. This should inspire me to remember to press the Save button instead of Preview.

Posted by megabeth at 01:00 PM | Comments (0)

January 16, 2007

Sorry about the lack of posting. I don't know why I am apologizing, and this is a stupid post.

All work and no play makes Megabeth a dull girl.

Posted by megabeth at 03:24 PM | Comments (2)

January 14, 2007

Alabama
Today's ride: 74 degrees F. Short sleeve jersey, shorts, half-fingered gloves, no base layers.

Minnesota
No ride today. Temp is 1 degree F.

Posted by megabeth at 07:41 PM | Comments (0)

There is this privet tree I wanted to cut down that keeps growing over the roof of my house and my neighbor's house. I don't know how a privet bush becomes a tree. I guess it takes 20 years or so. If I see privet on my property I immediately chop it down, but some previous owners were obviously slack in doing this.

I made a gap about halfway through with the chainsaw then the chain got stuck in the gap. I took an axe and chopped the rest of the tree down. Since I was doing this alone, the tree fell where it wanted to, which was in between the two houses. Fortunately no windows were broken or other damage. This freed the chainsaw.

It is obvious I know very little about how to chop down a tree.

Then I cut the tree into pieces with the chainsaw and put it out to the curb for garbage pickup. GEEZ. This was a JOB and a HALF.

(And you may want to be scared of me. When I was chopping the tree with the axe, I thought it was fun and a great way to blow off some stress. I got a little overzealous with my chops and flung the axe off the handle. Chop chop!!!)

Posted by megabeth at 04:39 PM | Comments (2)

Base 3 starts this week. This probably doesn't mean anything to anyone other than myself, but I am writing it down so that I will remember it. The intensity of training increases a lot during this period. My focus will be on hill climbing in Zone 4, right at LT. I did some of this during my ride yesterday. It is only slightly painful and I can sustain a hill climb right at LT for quite a while. The other focus of this period IS painful; it's muscular endurance. On my trainer indoors, I will be moving the target HR of my intervals up (currently they are at LT - 10) to LT -3. Now that hurts. I have stopped watching TV during indoor workouts because the pain is too much to focus on anything else. It's iPod time.

Posted by megabeth at 10:12 AM | Comments (0)

January 13, 2007

Either everyone else is out of shape or the training I am doing is greatly improving my climbing skills. I've dropped down to a lithe 119 lbs of lean muscle. My stomach is starting to show ripples. I should be a naturally good climber because my physique is lean and my muscles are of the long and lean variety (as opposed to beefy or thick). If I tried to bulk up, it wouldn't happen; I don't have the muscle type for it. My father's musculature is also sinewy.

The core work I'm doing at the gym is paying off. I've focused on lower back muscles, upper and lower abdominals, and obliques. While climbing I have noticed how much the lower abs and obliques contribute to the work I am doing. And when the hill gets steep, additional upper body muscle groups start working: biceps, triceps, pectorals, and lats.

I'm going to keep working on developing climbing as one of my strengths on the bike. I think it may take a couple of winters to build up major strength in the quads without injuring myself. Though currently I am already delivering some whoop-ass to other cyclists on hills. (My bike gets some of the credit - the Scott CR1 practically throws itself forward when getting into a climb.)

Posted by megabeth at 04:52 PM | Comments (2)

January 12, 2007

If you thought Microsoft Office or any flavor of Windows was bad, try installing the Adobe Acrobat suite. For about three hundred bucks you can buy yourself a big ol' pain in the ass. This software interferes with every other piece of software on your computer, slows down the operation of your machine, is huge and clunky, installs updates every week (I guess they have THAT many bugs). And I had to reinstall Photoshop because most of the features stopped working after I installed Acrobat. Congratulations to Adobe for taking Microsoft's position as the Top Creator of Total Crap!

Posted by megabeth at 10:47 AM | Comments (0)

January 11, 2007

I am very busy this week working on a project that I declared will be done in two weeks' time come hell or high water. It could be done earlier, if I weren't such a perfectionist. I just had a crash course in PHP. More later when I have time to breathe easy.

Posted by megabeth at 03:06 PM | Comments (0)

January 09, 2007

Like prescription drugs, textbook publishers sell their books at a premium in the USA, then they mark the price down 90% to sell in other countries, particularly in the Asian continent.

So my risk management (options/futures/derivatives) textbook was priced at $160 on Amazon, and I bought mine for $20 (including shipping) from this site. It was shipped from India and arrived two weeks after I ordered it (let's remember that the USPS does their holidays government-style).

The price on the book was listed as 350 rupees, and I consulted with a coworker from India who informed me that 350 Rs = $7.

One of the topics we discussed last night in the risk management class was how the Jefferson County Commission was fleeced in an interest rate swap related to the sewer contract that went bad (and now everyone involved is in deep doo-doo). Any sort of zero-sum contract like swaps, futures, options, forwards, etc can be very complicated and difficult for someone who is not trained in these financial areas to understand. So, it is feasible that the County Commission was genuinely fooled into paying 20 basis points for the swap (about 15 above average). What scares me about the County Commission is that (a) they are very corrupt and (b) they have way, way, WAY too much power. No bid contracts? Raising sales taxes without a referendum? The worst case of money mismanagement I have ever studied? Scary. The general complaint from government officials is that nothing can be improved in the state of Alabama without raising taxes, and citizens consistently vote against those measures. I'm actually willing to pay a higher state/county income tax, but because the people in charge couldn't manage a damn nickel if it were delivered to them on a silk pillow, I have zero confidence that whatever money is coming out of my paycheck and into county coffers is doing any good for anyone, anywhere, other than lining the pockets of the County Commission and their cronies.

Posted by megabeth at 11:13 AM | Comments (3)

I did not know that this mapping tool existed. I've used the Google Pedometer for running routes. This one on the USATF website also records elevation.

Posted by megabeth at 10:22 AM | Comments (2)

January 08, 2007

Sigh. Today I gave in and joined the realms of geeky engineers at work who wear their sports watch with business casual or suits. I had two Fossils; both of them kicked the bucket. For a while I thought it was cool how I didn't know what time it was. It does reduce quite a bit of anxiety about how long it is taking to do this or that or how late I am running. So this morning I put on my trusty Timex Ironman with my dress clothes.

Coming soon: Incorporating a pocket protector into my work wardrobe.

Posted by megabeth at 01:54 PM | Comments (4)

January 07, 2007

My complimentary membership to the Y ended at the end of the year and I already have a student membership to the UAB gym, so I decided to work out at the UAB gym until I graduate. I'm not particularly stuck on one gym, anyway, and was going to the Y due to convenience and habit. Both gyms have their positive points.

Today marks my first visit to UAB's gym. It is very, very nice. It is not far from mi casa, either. There seems to be enough parking but I haven't checked it out on a weekday evening yet.

Some major pluses:

- The organization of the weight room. There are a LOT of machines and there are duplicates. Everything is in really good condition.

- The cardio room on the second floor has a nice view of the UAB campus.

- The locker room has digital scales and ooooh, you know how I like me some numbers.

- The pool is neat-looking; it has this lazy river thing that the kids probably enjoy a lot.

- There are four group exercise rooms (including one spin room) and they are very well lit and large.

- The climbing wall beckons me to try it out.

- The clientele are mostly young adults (students, obviously) but more importantly, I did not come across any "male egos" like those at the Y. I have experienced some incidents recently with men acting angry towards me for being in the weight room at the Y. Perhaps this is evidence of my theory that the corporate world turns young and promising college graduates into selfish, insecure jerks. At the UAB gym, I felt completely welcome and comfortable in the free weights area.

Thus, my only real concern about going to a new gym (dealing with turf-oriented males in the weight room) has been dissolved. Thank God. I was hoping I wouldn't have to join Riviera.

Posted by megabeth at 04:37 PM | Comments (1)

This week the Wall Street Journal published an article about Home Depot CEO Bob Nardelli's resignation. With a $210 million exit package, why would Mr. Nardelli feel compelled to do a good job? Mr. Nardelli's total compensation package for the year 2005 was $22.8 million. Is that not enough? Do ya think someone might be just a LITTLE greedy?

Math for the little people: If an average middle class corporate employee makes $75,000 in compensation a year (and that's a bit low considering that benefits can bring the compensation package up to $90-100K), his/her exit package would be, in Home Depot terms, $690,000. M'kay. If that were the amount of my exit package, I would break EVERY COMPANY RULE IN THE BOOK and ask my manager to fire me on a daily basis. I would get down on my KNEES, buy her flowers with note cards that say, "Please fire me", come to work rip-roaring drunk, and watch porn on my company workstation.

I am rather angry about this because of the pain and suffering I and my coworkers have endured because of Sarbanes Oxley, when it is clearly evident that the corruption lies in the upper echelons of company management. I said in an earlier rant about SOX that why in a holy hell would a person making $75K a year do something to jeopardize their position? If I were fired from my job, I couldn't just sit around on the beach having a cabana boy bring me margaritas all day. But Nardelli can.

The only way possible, at this point in time, to correct greedy CEOs is not to buy stock in companies that offer exorbitant exit packages to CEOs.

Here is a list from the WSJ of some of those companies other than Home Depot:

Henry McKinnell, Pfizer, $200 MM
Tom Freston, Viacom, $59 MM
Phillip Purcell, Morgan Stanley, $62 MM
Carly Fiorina, HP, $21 MM
Jill Barad, Mattel, $50 MM
Michael Ovitz, Walt Disney, $140 MM

In the meanwhile I am going to write a shareholder proposal for my employer that requests a $750K exit package per employee.

Posted by megabeth at 08:46 AM | Comments (1)

January 06, 2007

Tide Coldwater: If we all used Tide Coldwater detergent, we would save enough energy to light all of the homes in a thousand towns!

And just how big are these 'towns'?

And for how long would the homes be lit... three seconds?

Posted by megabeth at 09:30 PM | Comments (0)

Progress is anticipation instead of fear. Progress is the sight of something beautiful bringing tears to your eyes. Progress is meeting a benchmark or a goal. Progress is knowing that where you are now is far away from where you were before. Progress is getting up in the morning with a grin instead of a grumble. Progress is having a plan and knowing that you can change it anytime you want. Progress is getting what you want without hurting anyone else. Progress is knowing that God answers your prayers. Progress is raw, unadulterated hope for the unknown.

Progress is knowing that all you have done is good enough. Progress is knowing that all you have done is not only good enough, it is remarkable.

Posted by megabeth at 02:43 PM | Comments (1)

January 05, 2007

Eye doctor this morning: I drove myself; I tested at 20/20. Things are still a bit fuzzy. My left eye has a few red spots from hemorrhage. And one of my pupils previously was bigger than the other, but post-op they are the same size.

The reality hasn't set in yet - I feel as if I am wearing my contacts. But another thought came to my mind: next time I go swimming (forbidden for two weeks), I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE in the water!!!!

Posted by megabeth at 10:06 AM | Comments (3)

January 04, 2007

Wow. Today was really weird.

I spent about five hours in the doctors office and it was 63 degrees in there (even the technicians were complaining), so the most painful part of this surgery was that I could not feel my hands and feet. I can't blame them 100% since lately I have been feeling really cold indoors even with a fleece cap on.

The first part of the surgery involves cutting the flap on the eye, and that was disconcerting. The second part involves burning away corneal tissue with a laser, and that was disconcerting. I don't mind people putting things in my eyes and poking and prodding at my eyeballs, but if you are the kind of person who freaks out when someone touches your eyeball, then laser eye surgery is not for you.

The drops they put in my eyes (like a hundred different kinds) are making my eyes burn.

I can see... sort of. Still very fuzzy but I am able to operate without correction. Pre-surgery, I can't see but 12 inches in front of my face, seriously. Even getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom was challenging without my glasses on.

I will give another update tomorrow. The doctor says everything is good and the fuzziness will clear up soon.

Posted by megabeth at 07:40 PM | Comments (1)

January 03, 2007

I had chinese for lunch. My fortune cookie says: An enjoyable vacation is awaiting you near the mountains.

20/20 tomorrow!!!

[addendum] My friend who had the surgery this year said that she was told by her doctor not to exercise for three days. THREE DAYS?!?!?!?!!

I am going to die. I am an addict.

Posted by megabeth at 12:32 PM | Comments (4)

January 01, 2007

I haven't been to work since December 22nd and sadly I have to go back tomorrow. During the time off I caught up on a bunch of things, but mostly I rode my bike.

I think that my training plan is really working because I went on two hard rides this week and I did well on both of them. The first was a manic hill climbing ride with a friend who introduced me to this sport. When I am about to have a heart attack while climbing a hill, he picks on my climbing technique. It's easy to get sloppy when you are tired. Then I worked on my technique on Saturday with a five hour hill climbing ride. I thought I would have been tired after that ride, but I was full of energy for the rest of the day and did not need a nap. My team (both men and women) partied so hardy last night (not really; we're teetotalers) and then rode together as a group today. And then we pigged out at IHOP afterwards. And probably because of that, again I did not need my usual post-ride nap. The ride was an insane three hours which involved trying to stay with a group of Cat 3 males. I did well and stayed with them for much of the ride, and when I was dropped, the trusty "reeler-in" guy was there to pull the laggards back up to the rest of the group. If our training camp in few weeks is anything like that ride, I am going to pass out after a few hours of riding. Anyhow, I am not supposed to be riding this hard at this point in my training cycle. My rides should be focusing on strength building by slowly climbing hills in a big gear. But it is nice to occasionally get a progress check like today's ride to see how I am doing.

Posted by megabeth at 09:14 PM | Comments (0)