November 07, 2006
Governor: Cletus
Lieutenant governor: Boss Hogg
Attorney general: Smoove, from The Onion
Chief justice: Vladimir Putin
Supreme Court, Place 2: A randomly selected cockroach
Supreme Court, Place 3: My dog's ass
Supreme Court, Place 4: To remain unfilled. Decisions will be determined by a flip of a coin.
Civil Appeals, Place 1: Homer Simpson
Civil Appeals, Place 2: Mario Lopez (Saved by the Bell)
Civil Appeals, Place 3: Bob Saget
Criminal Appeals, Place 1: Jim Morrison
Criminal Appeals, Place 2: Freddy Mercury
Criminal Appeals, Place 3: Ronnie Van Zant
Secretary of state: Jesus
State treasurer: Richard Scrushy
State auditor: Bernie Ebbers
I've always been a big proponent of voting, but after seeing the shit-flinging monkey ads for this year's campaign (especially the disgusting self-aggrandizing campaigns of Sue Bell Cobb and Lucy Baxley), I am choosing not to vote. If my choices are between horse shit and cow dung, I'd rather starve.
Whoever wins, the citizens of the state of Alabama are ensured another four years of a three-ring circus of idiots.
Posted by megabeth at November 7, 2006 08:41 AM
I am pretty sure Homer Simpson would be a better Chief Justice. And Fry from Futurama would certainly work out better for state auditor, nothing would get done and in government, that's not all bad.
Posted by: Outlaw3 at November 7, 2006 11:45 AM
Drat. I have already voted and MISSED YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS. I *must* remember to check your blog in 2008.
Posted by: Stan at November 7, 2006 02:04 PM
That is too bad. These are all write-in candidates so you can use them for next year. I am sorry I was late with the post, but I was really struggling with the choices for a while.
Posted by: megabeth at November 7, 2006 02:07 PM
Cain't you Alabamans find someplace for ole' George Wallace on the ballot somewheres? Sure, he's died and gone to hell now, but he'd still be more of a stand up guy than most of these careerist, amoral screw-heads.
The pickings aren't much better in GA. The local civil rights veterans (Andy Young, John Lewis, Shirley Franklin) have a ridiculous ad for a Fulton County commission candidate warning that if folks vote for republicans that black people will lose their right to vote and have fire hoses turned on them. Morally bankrupt fucktards. We will get the government we deserve, unfortunately.
Posted by: rankin' rob at November 7, 2006 03:50 PM
Maybe GA could bring back Jimmy Carter for state gov't.
Posted by: megabeth at November 7, 2006 08:20 PM
I wrote in "Ruby's Ass" for Attorney General of New York. It was my civic responsibility.
Posted by: chris robinson at November 8, 2006 08:21 AM
Ruby's Ass thanks you for that by sending a pleasant odor in your general direction.
Posted by: megabeth at November 8, 2006 02:18 PM