I ask myself this question often. What is it that I want to accomplish with my hobby? I am indecisive about most things in life.

The most important thing is that I am having fun. I tend to burn out if I push too hard and don't see results.

In my career, I am definitely a generalist as opposed to a specialist. That's why I decided to work on triathlons instead of cycling races. I bought my first bike in March 2005. My coach was elemental in helping me to get strong enough to go on group rides. I decided to do some triathlons this summer and I did one bike race in July, to get a feel for what it is that I really want to focus on.

I feel very intimidated by the thought of being a very, VERY good athlete at one particular sport. I don't like that I shy away from having an intense focus on one thing. I tend to get bored with a hobby or professional skill after a while and find some excuse to try something new. Perhaps I am merely commitment-phobic. Whatever the explanation, this personality trait (or bad habit) is a pain in the ass.

With the sport of triathlon, I can become moderately good at three sports and still do well, without being an expert at any given one of them. I don't mind not being the first overall female in triathlons. What would make me happy is merely seeing the results of the effort I put into training.

When asked what my "dream job" would be, I usually reply with "pro athlete". The life of a pro tennis player sounds particularly fun. But let's be realistic. I'll think of athletics as my favorite hobby instead of as a potential career.

Thus, my goal for next year is to improve my weaknesses in running and swimming and maintain or slightly improve my strength in cycling.

If I can improve my swimming, then I will be able to try a longer distance race such as an Olympic distance triathlon.

I'll post my 2005 race results and interpret the times in the next post.